A Devine solution...

Christmas 2016 and I wanted a wreath for the front door.  I am Yorkshire tight and every time I looked at them in a florist, I found myself thinking "They want HOW MUCH for a bit of holly and a desiccated slice of orange"?  Shortly followed by "How hard can it be? Surely I can produce something that looks charmingly home made as if by Kirstie Allsop herself?"  Poor naive woman-child.

So I purchased the perfect base to set my creative talents afloat - a rustic looking wood bound love heart from a charity shop for £2.99.  And I then set sail to the  the garden centre to buy appropriate glittery things.  Only sophisticated glittery things obviously, no multi coloured tinsel, no tired looking fake mistletoe.  Granted I was a little surprised to realise that I had spent £23 on classy glitter but hey ho, what price for talent?  As soon as I started affixing the glittery things, I knew I was in trouble.  To cut a painful memory short, by the bottom photo you will fully understand why the Christmas Wreath Made At Home With Love lasted precisely 35 minutes on the front door.  Frankly, I am embarrassed it was up there that long.

So this year I knew much, much better and I decided to go to Sing-along-a-Wreath-Making with Adam down at Devine Flowers, taking Mother (aged 85 and three quarters) with me.  Kill two birds with one stone; brownie points for  quality Mother and Daughter time and surely no way would Adam let me leave his premises with anything other than a fabulous wreath?  It will come as no surprise to know that Adam is a wonderful host.  Who doesn't want to be greeted by "Can I get you a glass of Prosecco?" at 10.30 AM in the morning?  And by the time half a dozen ladies had knocked back a couple of glasses of bubbles, and been given explicit permission to "throw your rubbish on the floor", there was no holding us back.

Now from a technical perspective, I can tell you what I remember.  You start with four guideline sprigs of green stuff at 12, 3, 6 and 9 PM on the oasis clock.  Apparently you are not to go longer than these, it keeps your circle circular - as long as you do what you are told of course, and my Mother has always a bit wayward.  Then you start filling in with more green stuff, randomly, to achieve a "naturally chaotic" look.  A bit like my Monday - Friday hair style.  It was right about now that Mother started accusing the charming lady sat next door to her of stealing all her "good bits".  By good bits, she meant the precious sprigs of green stuff with a fork on the end that we had been especially told to seek out.  Adam's response was to give everyone another glass of Prosecco and to disappear my Mother under a very large pile of tree ivy with the instruction, "fill in your gaps with berries Pauline".  There was a brief respite whilst Mother complied, but short-term memory issues ensured the thievery conversation was resurrected several times, especially once we were given beautiful eucalyptus branches to cut little silver "dollars" from.

Some three yards of florist's ribbon and two riotous hours later my wreath was complete.  But Mother was still going strong - both with the generous application of cinnamon sticks and knocking back the Prosecco.  So I left her there.  Now don't judge me!  I had to!  I had to go to work and no way was she leaving that wreath unfinished. I say wreath, but thanks to a complete disregard of the oasis clock guidelines, even Adam was now referring to hers as a table centre piece.  I am told that Adam poured her into the car of The Charming Lady some 35 minutes later, and she was delivered safely home - thank you so much Dawn if you are reading this.

In short, next year, do consider getting tickets for one of Adam's wreath making events.  It was fabulous fun and far, far better than paying for a ready made wreath.  

Follow the Devine Flowers Facebook page here and contact here.
Fabulous fun - pass the Prosecco please...

This year, with a little help.

What was I thinking!?

Location: Cookham, Maidenhead SL6 9SQ, UK

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